I was young and full of excitement, adventure and pure terror. It was decision time. Do I go back to San Francisco where I did my internship and loved? Stay in New York, trying to make it in a city that could easily chew me up and spit me out? Go to Hawaii and be a part of the opening team of Roy’s Maui?
Where were my friends going? How hard will it be to be a woman in the kitchen? Did I know enough Spanish to know when I was being talked about? My head explodes when I think of the passage of time and all that has happened in and out of the kitchen. There have been a lot of opportunities taken and some missed, and a few squandered.
The world of food was different in 1994. The internet was not available to the public! Luckily, we went to the school library with the largest collection of culinary publications. We sat in little cubicles, watching VHS tapes and taking handwritten notes. My laptop weighed as much as a PC! Only a few people had cell phones, and I was not one of them. Our kitchen did not contain such modern devices as induction ovens and anti-griddles! I think of my classmates often and the amazing experiences we shared. I have been in contact with some of them, while others have slipped into obscurity. I only hope that they have fond memories as I have!
16 years ago I decided to go it alone with no immediate guidance from a mentor. Wow, was I arrogant to think I was ready! Oh youth! I mustered up all my courage and went for it! In that time I have learned so much from everyone I have come in contact with. I am grateful to my sous chef of many years, Santos, my front of the house staff that have worked numerous events over the years, my Dad (who is my go to guy when things need to be fixed or built) and my Mom who has tried to retire so many times but I just won’t let her.
Outside of the kitchen, I have also created a life with my husband of 14 years and our two beautiful girls! My husband is not a cook but has a palate for food that constantly impresses me. My girls? Lets just say that they have taste buds that would put some adults to shame. My 11 year old will eat whatever exotic sushi you put in front of her. The Sunday mornings that I am home, my 9 year old and I make pancakes from scratch, souring the milk for our buttermilk pancakes. She has now kicked me out of the kitchen to make them herself, while she hums blissfully to herself.
Growing older, I have eased into the comfort of who I am as a cook. I am still very passionate about food; not only the cooking of it, but the toils of picking the perfect vegetable or cut of meat, or how it is going to be presented on a plate or platter. I am always looking for inspiration and seeking inspiring ingredients, but there is no longer that need to reinvent what my “style” is...I have found it.
I love the sounds and smells of the kitchen the dance and rhythm. It can be a hostile environment at times but I have learned how to arm myself. I thrive on the organized chaos, the bity banter that is often inappropriate for the outside world and the marathon work days-weeks-months.
Is it all worth it? Hell yeah.
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